As Conrad begins to drift off he begins to envision the awful day of his brothers death. It was just like he was there all over again everything was so real. The dream covered every aspect of the horrifying event, but this time the end was a new beginning. As Buck released himself from the boat and drew closer and closer to the forever darkness of death Conrad froze as he did before. Once Buck had left the known world the same thoughts that plague him Conrad in reality started a dangerous flow beginning to take over his body. Before the deadly disease of guilt and anger grew to strong they were no longer in the water. Conrad was all alone in a solid white room with one door made of glass. On the other side of the four-inch plate glass door stood Buck. He was there with Conrad once again, but he wasnt there at the same time. As they both stood there trying to find a way back to each other a cloud of darkness crept over the two young boys until everything that was once white became blackened, the hope of being together was covered with the fear of everything that is gloomy. Visually his brother was gone, but Conrad had lost the sense of sight while gaining the ability to heat his brother. Everything that had troubled him since his brothers death came to a discussion. Buck I am so sorry that I didnt save you! I wish everyday that it could have been me instead of you. Conrad cried. In response Buck said sternly What happened to me is no where close to your fault. Blame for my death rest completely on my shoulders if you had tried to save me both of our lives could have been lost and that would be a catastrophe. As Conrad began to arise from his knee he questioned his brother What can I do for you? Buck began to answer Conrad I am already gone no matter how much you mourn my death I will still only be a memory and a spirit. But you alive in the physical form and the only thing I have is the hope that you will live your life with enough happiness for the both of us. The only life I have left is watching you grow and your life so far has only been comprised of sadness. Bucks voice begins to fade with three final words Live your life. Live your life. Live your life. Until Buck is no longer heard.
Conrad awakes to a whole new feeling. Every part of his body feels as if it was brand new. His eyes squint in the light of the sun as if they had never been exposed to the brightness of day. He had exited the life of darkness and sorrow and ventured into a normal state of being. After a few days in his new life Conrad realized his life isnt what he wanted it to be. He decided his happiness couldnt reach its potential and this thought made him question himself. Who am? What can I be? Who do I want to be? He didnt have the answers to these questions, but he knew that he didnt want to be who ever he was. So in the middle of the night he took off having no final destination in mind. He knew nothing except the simple fact that he had to leave to become himself. To many days had been spent in a life he had recently established as disturbing. As a young man on his way into becoming a man he chose to leave everything that reminded him of his past and vowed to never think about what had happened. Instead he started to look at life in one direction and that was forward.
Years had passed and Conrad had grown into a successful man. He had a wonderful wife and two kids a boy and a girl. The boy he named after his brother Buck and the girl took on the name of his deceased friend from the mental hospital. Through the trials and tribulations of life Conrad threw out both of his previous philosophies on life and brought in a new way to look at life. His life was now a two way street, he had experimented with both directions, the past and the future. And from that he found out what most already know and that is you cant live a one dimensional life you need to take in all aspects of life and find a balance that works for you.